The end of an era...
Today I quit my day job. And I have some mixed feelings about it. Because I tend to take on too much, and I have a hard time letting go. I ahve a hard time not wanting to stick my fingers into every pot on the stove.
But it's time. See, this isn't my real work.
How's that?
Well, a few years ago, I took an accidental job with Hillel, and became a professional Jew. Then I accidentally edited a book about being Half-Jewish. Then I accidentally began doing a lot of Jewish essay-ish stuff, and landed the gig at Jewcy. Along the way I accidentally wrote columns, interviewed Jewish writers for Nextbook podcasts, spoke to JCCs and synagogues, participated in Jewish literary festivals, and joined the boards of a few Jewish agencies.
And it was all amazing. I grew and learned and felt lucky. But I'm NOT really a professional Jew. I'm really a writer. And that has been hard, both because I've felt a little bit like a fraud... and because I've been split in half.
But I'm not even really a "Jewish Writer." I'm just a Jew who happens to write. I write poems, and little stories about all kinds of things, Jewish and not-so.
Now, a mother, and about to have another baby... and racing a book deadline for my next children's novel (NOT about Jews) I find myself at once overwhelemed by too-many-hats syndrome. But at the same time, I've been reluctant to let go of the Jewcy gig. Because it's been such an amazing ride, my professional Judaism. And because I like the Jewcy folks so much.
Still, I've done it. I've quit, and now I'll have at least 3 hours (of sitter-time) a day to finish the novel, which is a huge relief. And I won't have to keep the sticky toddler away from the laptop every morning (or bribe him with Sesame Street) as I race toward my daily deadline.
Instead, I'll be out in the hammock, munching on toast and blowing bubbles. Which is my real work. Blowing bubbles. Wiping noses. Each day...
Until it's time to sit down and work on the book. My other real work.
Congratulate me?
But it's time. See, this isn't my real work.
How's that?
Well, a few years ago, I took an accidental job with Hillel, and became a professional Jew. Then I accidentally edited a book about being Half-Jewish. Then I accidentally began doing a lot of Jewish essay-ish stuff, and landed the gig at Jewcy. Along the way I accidentally wrote columns, interviewed Jewish writers for Nextbook podcasts, spoke to JCCs and synagogues, participated in Jewish literary festivals, and joined the boards of a few Jewish agencies.
And it was all amazing. I grew and learned and felt lucky. But I'm NOT really a professional Jew. I'm really a writer. And that has been hard, both because I've felt a little bit like a fraud... and because I've been split in half.
But I'm not even really a "Jewish Writer." I'm just a Jew who happens to write. I write poems, and little stories about all kinds of things, Jewish and not-so.
Now, a mother, and about to have another baby... and racing a book deadline for my next children's novel (NOT about Jews) I find myself at once overwhelemed by too-many-hats syndrome. But at the same time, I've been reluctant to let go of the Jewcy gig. Because it's been such an amazing ride, my professional Judaism. And because I like the Jewcy folks so much.
Still, I've done it. I've quit, and now I'll have at least 3 hours (of sitter-time) a day to finish the novel, which is a huge relief. And I won't have to keep the sticky toddler away from the laptop every morning (or bribe him with Sesame Street) as I race toward my daily deadline.
Instead, I'll be out in the hammock, munching on toast and blowing bubbles. Which is my real work. Blowing bubbles. Wiping noses. Each day...
Until it's time to sit down and work on the book. My other real work.
Congratulate me?
8 Comments:
Congratulations! Quitting takes bravery and you deserve the kudos!
Likewise, big congrats :-)
Congratulations, Laurel! :-D
This post has been removed by the author.
Nice Laurel.
I tried being a professional Jew once too, and also had to quit. But this was because I was not at all religious, and I thought marinating in issues of ethnicity and culture was tedious and unrewarding. Also, I was sleeping with my supervisor.
Your pal,
- Scott K.
...I wonder if there's any work to be had being a professional Irish?
I'm glad you're getting more time for your true passions. Congrats.
Best thing I've read all day. :-) Miss you and love you.
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