Kareem is going to die tonight...

Because I'm going to pay someone to kill her.


"Put down."


"Put to sleep."


"Euthanize."


These are the niceties, none-too-nice. The things we tell ourselves when we "have to" do something awful.


I don't need justification. She's lost 8 lbs in two days. She's depressed, neurologic. My house is covered with shit and blood, and I can't afford (anymore) to take a vacation over winter break, because we've had our break already, been broken.


I don't need justification, but I like to call it like I see it.


This poor poor girl, this baby, this defenseless animal that never had half a fucking chance... is too sick to save, and rather than wait and watch the suffering, or dump her in an alley, I'm going to pay someone to kill her.


Because that's how we do it these days. That's what we do.


Funny, that for all the things the internet can do, it can't show you how hard I'm sobbing right now.


But I am.